It's 1976, I don't have to be PC yet.

Excuse me sir, I can sense that you are the type that gets offended easily -- I'm afraid you'll have to wait outside. (Door closes)....Okay now I'll begin. I would like to take this opportunity to say a few things that should not be said, ever. Do not follow my example, make an example of me. So without further ado: I give you some food for thought.

Speak english or die trying!

Okay, one night I was playing this game, when I realize (that's realise for all my Canadian, Austrailian and U.K. buddies) that there's this Sovereign driver named......I don't remember it, but I do remember it had few vowels in it and a lot of letters rarely used in english, like Zs, Qs, Xs n'stuff (we'll just call him ZAQTLX. ZAQTLX seemed to be an allright guy, but then his friend, ZAKTLX showed up -- That's when it started. They began conversing in their mystic moon language: at first I really thought something was wrong with my chat function, I was close to restarting -- then it happened.

ZAQTLX: "fhe jkiy ghnn mjet del zarapous?"

ZAKTLX: "mi a jnet potuil mibumel!!!!!"

(just let me interject here --- four exclamation points in any language means trouble)

ZAQTLX: "no sopar zaktlx vi mkjuty"

ZAKTLX: "poyu gij e mibumel....."

ZAKTLX: "poyu gij e mibumel....."


AQUILA: "????"

ZAQTLX: "zak wants to fight you aquila, he hates amerikans"

-----What?!! ZAKTLK then attacked me like I had personally stolen his wooden shoes, beret, dried gord or something!

A similar thing happened to a friend of mine, he was playing a game with some French speaking gentlemen (ahem...) who asked him what country he was from. Okay maybe it wasn't in good taste for my friend to say something like, "the greatest country on Earth, baby!" but nonetheless, the bi-lingual replied "your country sux" (I might point out that the French offender drove an AMZ with the stars-n-bars paint). I don't really know how that situation turned out, but the point I'd like to make is: Why don't you try being personable once in awhile! If you don't like us as company, you can point your car due southeast, drive real far and you might eventually hit the polygonal Gulf of Mexico -- from there you can arrange transport (Yikes, I sound like my grandfather). Besides, nobody can deny us Americans of our God-given place as this Earth's biggest assholes! Not while I'm around! (tee-hee).

But I'm not really just to bash people from non-english speaking nations. There are english-speaking people with this problem also: "ne1 heer?". Okay -- I understand the need for brevity during a game -- but this just bugs the shinola outta me! Don't put the same effort into I-76 chat that grade schoolers put into love notes! In the interest of keeping our language alive, God know we have bastardized (that's bastardised for my proper-english speaking friends) enough, we need to nip this in the bud. So boot anybody who says anything like "WOT R U WAITING 4?", "HAXRL" or "HAX4EVER" just say: "IN THE NAME OF MERRIAM WEBSTER, I BID YOU PEACE :-"

Now I'll do you all a big favor (that's favour for my true-english speaking compadres) and shut-up.

-- Aquila